Happy Mother’s Day

We are almost certain that unless you have been living under a rock, you may be aware of a little occasion coming up called MOTHER’S DAY. With the lead-up to holidays these days more saturated than ever, we assume most people know that it is upon us.

So we thought it fitting to share some tips for other ‘mothers in business’. These may perhaps be of some use for those who may be starting out with the juggle of motherhood and working.

As a team, we certainly divulge our parenting woes, highs and lows to each other. Before forming our business we already had being mothers in common.

But we remain pretty tight-lipped with our clients and we keep things professional on that side of the fence. Our phones are filled with photos of our daughters (we each have two!) doing the cutest things, naturally. We would love to show everyone how beautiful they are, but we refrain. We know we are good mothers. We know we are good at our job. And we know we have the right to do both, it’s just our choice to keep things a little separate.

We are both mothers whose children are involved in plenty of activities – swimming, ballet, athletics, gymnastics, you name it, our littlies are probably involved. Chances are we have just locked off copy for an upcoming listing before launching a glittery bag of some sort into our front seat and hurrying off to an extra-curricular activity. But the world and our clients don’t know that!

We do our best week in, week out and some weeks are easier than others. We have gleaned a smidgen of wisdom from our years of freelancing and subsequent business-owning, whilst mothering.

Katharine’s tips for mothers who are in the process of starting up a business, or perhaps seeking a touch more balance:

Keep a calendar that everyone in your house can see.

It sounds obvious and yes, your children may not be able to read yet, but if you have plenty coming up in your working week, make sure it is visible alongside the other facets of your life. I’ve found that keeping a work calendar separately is handy (love my iCal). But just the same as we need to try to strike a balance with work and life, if you can SEE these appointments and commitments side-by-side, it can make it easy to allocate your time and see where you need support. That brings me to my next tip.

Support.

There is the saying that it takes a village to raise a child. Well, in our fast-paced 2016 society, I find people, and yes, particularly women, really do put an immense amount of pressure on ourselves to be everything to everyone. There is also the saying about fitting your own oxygen masks before helping others. So true. I myself have really only become all too aware of this within the last twelve months or so. If you are in the throes of rolling out a business or keeping on top of a growing new enterprise, your commitment to your children doesn’t want to be something you feel is side-lined. Call on your support networks- partners, spouses (if you have them), family, friends and community groups. If you do rely on childcare and feel guilty, as obvious as it sounds, try to shake the guilt early and keep your eye on the prize. Your child/children can ultimately benefit from your own working dreams coming true. You may need to remind yourself of this every day, but try to go easy on yourself. And childcare of course has its own social and emotional positives for children too, it helps to bare that in mind.

Let your children see you working sometimes.

It goes without saying that they need to be at an age where it is safe for them to amuse themselves in the background – you don’t want your one-year old juggling knives while you’re tweaking marketing copy! But if and when you feel like you can complete a task, particularly if you work from home, or bring your children to your office/workplace/warehouse on the odd occasion, give it a go- in small increments at first. This, we know, is difficult when they are young. My eldest daughter can decipher the most complicated house floor plan. She recognises split-system air conditioning units, water closets and rainwater tanks! She has also essentially seen every single G-rated Disney film in existence and was able to begin to learn to read a little earlier than typical. And an upside is that working for myself has afforded me with flexible hours, so I have been able to visit incredible places with her through these early years. These outings are a reward for her for her patience during particularly busy days. And also a reward for me for my hard work and diligence. Her reading folder that was sent home from school advises parents to ‘let your children see you reading for leisure, so they learn early that it is an enjoyable activity’. I think the same can be said for working (in measured doses). If your child sees you working and achieving your goals, you are setting them up for a life of their own self-belief.

Set aside quiet, isolated hours each day, if you can.

Despite the above tip of letting your children see you work, I think it is also useful to put my hand up and admit that you can typically get a task completed in half the time if you aren’t tandem parenting/working. If you have peace, quiet and are not having to divide your attention between children (and their snacks, always with the fixing of snacks!) chances are these hours can be your most productive. These hours may be late at night. Which can be tough. But reaping the rewards of a flexible working life can tip the scale making burning the midnight oil worth it.

If you wish to keep on feeding, then keep on feeding! 

Plenty of other people and women in business have addressed this and in a much more eloquent manner, but in a nutshell – if you have chosen to breastfeed and it has been going well and suiting both you and baby/babies, then be aware that you have every right to continue. Particularly, if you have returned to a workplace. An awareness of your rights to have pumping breaks and a space to use is certainly something you should have. I have fed and pumped in some seriously uncomfortable and sometimes down right bizarre places, with both of my daughters. As a working mother, who also happens to be providing essential nourishment for a growing human, know that you are already a super star. And hopefully knowing this encourages you to uphold your right to continue to do so.

Enforce a ‘phones down’ time-slot in your home and try to stick to it. 

If you’re a working mother/business owner, you know better than anyone that that phone of yours is often buzzing whilst your children are in need of attention. Whether you sell products or services, there will always be the need for people to contact you. As long as you have indicated clear guidelines to clients or customers for turnaround times or response times, know that you can put your phone down and focus on your family and pick up where you left off later. This shouldn’t put clients off either – if you are doing a stellar job anyhow, no one should have any qualms with your abilities. You can put that phone down or mute notifications for a few hours every afternoon or evening and be able to do family dinner, bed-times and stories, if you are able. The world will keep turning! (Something else that took me a while to learn too.)

To be sure, it is a juggling act and anyone who tells you otherwise likely hasn’t played such major roles at the same time. But it’s doable, it’s rewarding and I know that my own daughters are my motivation for success.

This weekend we are going to break our self-enforced social media rule of limited personal/family shots and post some photos of the joy we get from motherhood. A very Happy Mother’s Day to our own mothers and we will also be thinking of those who have lost their mothers, or whose mothers have failing health. If anyone else has tips for this balancing act, we would love to hear them on Instagram.

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